Well, I feel simply awful about this post… but it does sort of illustrate how my weird, crack squirrel infested mind works…

Like all my weird ideas, this started off harmlessly enough. My friend over at:  http://notapunkrocker.wordpress.com/  did a cute little post about some cute little penguin stickers that she had stuck on the back of some of her Christmas letters to help seal them shut. (I guess they should have been cute little seal stickers… HA!)…

Anyway, she made a joke about feeling guilty that people would have to rip their little heads off when they opened the letters… and then it hit me… oh, yeah….

What if you took some cute little animal stickers…

a 1 a 6

And then, between the back, sticky layer and the cute little picture, you placed a tiny plastic pouch containing fake blood and a little dangly piece of spinal column… so that when people ripped open the letter, it would look something like this…

a 1 a 6 copy

Oh come on… I hear you all recoiling at my brilliant idea. I can hear the questions relating to my sanity bouncing around inside your heads much like my crack squirrels bounce around inside mine.

But in my defense, I did use a frog for this post. I figured many of you have dissected frogs in science class, so the shock wouldn’t be too intense. Just imagine if I had picked some of the cute little puppy and kitty stickers I saw when I was looking through Goggle images.

Also, this might be a really bad time to mention another of my get-rich-quick schemes I had years ago… involving getting realistic-looking stuffed puppy and kitty toys, opening them up, and replacing some of the stuffing with plastic bags full of fake blood and guts. The idea was that if anyone was tailgating you in your car, you could just start tossing the little animals out the window at them.

Hey… simmer down… that was totally a joke… I am not that weird… I know that baby animals exploding on windshields and popping under car tires might cause an accident. I didn’t actually make any of those. And I had this idea back when I was a professional delivery driver and had trouble with tailgaters… it’s a Southern California thing.

But I bet it would make people back off… just saying…

Also, this explains why I added the term: ‘Muckraker’ to my new business cards.


About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
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34 Responses to Well, I feel simply awful about this post… but it does sort of illustrate how my weird, crack squirrel infested mind works…

  1. benzeknees says:

    This is one of your ideas I don’t like.

  2. Asariels Muse says:

    Yes, I have weird ideas like that too. My son thinks I should be hired as an anti-terrorist tactics expert because of some of my ummmm “ideas”

  3. Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Bentley Little probably all had similar thoughts at some point in theirs, and look where they are now. But just so you know, I happen to like frogs.

  4. lbeth1950 says:

    Reblogged this on Nutsrok and commented:
    Reblogged from Pouring My Art Out Where can I get that blood?

  5. lbeth1950 says:

    Where can I get that blood?

  6. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    This is so twisted but it really made me laugh.

  7. Al says:

    Or you could do it with Dick Cheney.

  8. Elyse says:

    You know Art, I worry about you sometimes. Not a lot, though.

  9. The real me says:

    Pmsl I do like your imagination

  10. Meanwhile, no turtles died in “Ernest Goes to Camp.”

  11. NotAPunkRocker says:

    I really like this, actually. How bad does that make me?

    It reminds me of the security tags at some stores, where it has the dye and sensor between the label and the item.

    Imagine the possibilities with these!

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