Crack squirrels are a real problem in America. I have done posts about this scourge to our safety and way of life… in fact, if you have a few minutes, you should type the words: ‘crack squirrel’ in that search thingy up there, the one that shows up when you click on the magnifying glass. Go ahead… there isn’t anything else going on here while the crack squirrels are on strike… you might be surprised by what you find.
Crack squirrels exist because drug dealers exist. And drug dealers have found that parks are a good place to sell drugs. They have also figured out that if they hide their drug packages some place near by, the cops don’t have any evidence of their crime. So they often hide them in hollow places in trees… which is where squirrels look for food… so you can see how this problem developed.
But, being who I am, with my magical ability to get myself into situations that nobody else even thinks of, I somehow managed to come down with a case of CSCIS… that’s right, I suffer from crack squirrel cranial infestation syndrome…
Hey, I don’t know how they ended up in there… I wasn’t buying crack… but I have been to a few parks in my time because I have kids. My personal theory is that they snuck in there when I was asleep… you know… because of the extra unused space… but whatever.
The thing is… (Hey, I got my ‘thing’ back!!!)… that I have come to rely on the squirrels to do most of the crazy ideas on this blog…
Because, honestly, crack squirrels get a lot done in a day. No, all their ideas are not brilliant. But they have a lot of them. So I sort of let them run the show.
Now they are upset because they worked really hard on that post about the history of the Gaza Strip, Mideast, and the Jewish People. I am not taking sides. But would it really kill you to read it? They can be stubborn little beasts when they set their mind to something.
I leave it up to you. I can understand you not wanting to be forced to read over a thousand words, no matter how charming and clever and funny and well-written it is. Nobody wants to be told what to do… that might be part of the problem in Gaza… an unwillingness to take the easy way out for fear you will look like you are giving in.