I thought the crack squirrels were just trying to be funny when the did those wordless posts to give more of you time to read that post they did about the history of the Jewish people and the troubles in the Gaza Strip. But it turns out that they are really upset. I have been told by their spokesman… spokessquirrel… a cute little guy that I call Lazy Eye Pete, that they worked very hard on that post. And it wasn’t fun for them at all. Human history is even more confusing and illogical to crack squirrels than it is to us humans.
I am in an awkward situation here. I don’t think we should give in to their demands. It sets a bad precedent. And I know how hard it must be for most people to read a thousand or more words on a subject that is both boring and full of human cruelty and stupidity… even though I do think the squirrels did a really good job of making it educational while still making it pretty damn funny.
On the other hand… see, I didn’t even call it a ‘thing’… it’s like I can’t even do this blogging thing without the squirrels helping me… they are the ones who come up with all the crazy ideas that make this blog what it is. Now they are just lying around inside my head like a bunch of squirrel skin rugs. And they still haven’t decided exactly how many more humans have to read the damn post before they will go back to work.
But, if you are one of the millions of people who haven’t read that post, good for you. Don’t let crack squirrels push you around. I did… and look where it has gotten me…