Stupid crack squirrels…

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I thought the crack squirrels were just trying to be funny when the did those wordless posts to give more of you time to read that post they did about the history of the Jewish people and the troubles in the Gaza Strip. But it turns out that they are really upset. I have been told by their spokesman… spokessquirrel… a cute little guy that I call Lazy Eye Pete, that they worked very hard on that post. And it wasn’t fun for them at all. Human history is even more confusing and illogical to crack squirrels than it is to us humans.

I am in an awkward situation here. I don’t think we should give in to their demands. It sets a bad precedent. And I know how hard it must be for most people to read a thousand or more words on a subject that is both boring and full of human cruelty and stupidity… even though I do think the squirrels did a really good job of making it educational while still making it pretty damn funny.

On the other hand… see, I didn’t even call it a ‘thing’… it’s like I can’t even do this blogging thing without the squirrels helping me… they are the ones who come up with all the crazy ideas that make this blog what it is. Now they are just lying around inside my head like a bunch of squirrel skin rugs. And they still haven’t decided exactly how many more humans have to read the damn post before they will go back to work.

But, if you are one of the millions of people who haven’t read that post, good for you. Don’t let crack squirrels push you around. I did… and look where it has gotten me…

About pouringmyartout

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24 Responses to Stupid crack squirrels…

  1. benzeknees says:

    I didn’t read it because I have my own opinions on the Israeli/Palestinian struggles.

  2. Perhaps it is time for us to hold an intervention for the crack squirrels. They really should consider re-hab. We could consult the “Mayor” of Toronto, Rob Ford.

  3. You can’t blame lazy eye pete Arthur. He/she (I don’t wanna make any presumptions about his/her gender. May be lazy eye pete was actually a female born to a dude who actually wanted a boy, and since he didn’t, he decided to make the best of what he had) doesn’t think the way we do. They don’t know what we are ‘walling in and walling out’. Give them squirrels a break They are doing the best they can… And I have to say, I love them for it… The world needs humor.

  4. AZ Gringa says:

    Just roll an acorn past the lazy little buggers (and I use that word in the English sense). That’ll get them off their duffs right quick.

  5. Paul says:

    **Sob!** 😥 Oh, Art, that’s so, so, so sad. **Sob!** here have a drink and let’s talk. |_| Ya see I have made an amateur study of squirrels whilst lounging beneath the trees in which they dwell – looking upwards at the sky (me looking that is, not the squirrels – in fact I think they were looking down O_o ). This is top secret so don’t whisper a word 😎 , but I have figured out how to make a squirrel jump and run – which I assume is what you want. And here it is…..Find another squirrel they’ve never seen before, and let him loose. They will go nuts, run around, chatter their heads off and generally make an international incident. So, here’s one more drink |_| and off you go to get yourself a little strange squirrel. Ha! 😀 Oh, and here’s a burrito to go in case your hungry. 🌯

  6. joehoover says:

    There was a squirrel dead in the road near my bus stop last week. Silly place to be picketing

  7. Julie says:


    Don’t let the cuteness fool you! They can really wreck a place!

  8. serins says:

    Cute little guy.

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