Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Livermore, I will fear no evil… because there is always Oxnard… (Or): we are now going to have a contest to determine the ugliest name for a town or city anywhere on this planet…

***WARNING: This post requires audience participation… deal with it***

So, I just got back from visiting my mom in the Bay Area. Some of you may have guessed that because I stopped doing posts with pictures in them… except for some old posts I reblogged… because I don’t have Photoshop at my mom’s house, and she has a Mac, and I am a computer moron, so I keep it simple.

I was up there for that funeral I told you about a few days ago. I didn’t mention where the funeral was, because I do not announce when my house is empty on the interwebs… or else some of my followers try to sneak in and try on my unmentionables and do other weird things. One of them might even try to take over my army of minions and run my criminal enterprise, and who knows how much that might disrupt my plans to take over the world with my blog.

I will now have some new photos to share. And, hint, hint… we saw Willie!!! That kid is so cute that I am going to take a week off from posting pictures of our second honeymoon on Maui. Now, on with the post.

After driving for hours through the Central Valley, you know you are almost to the Bay Area when you turn left… West… and start heading for the coast. Then you pass through Livermore. Whether coming or going, I never read that name on a sign without making a face like I just smelled a fart. It is involuntary. Livermore isn’t a bad town. It just has an unfortunate name… but not as unfortunate as Oxnard, up near Los Angeles.

Could you live in a place called Oxnard?

Mollie and I were driving back this morning. It is about an eight-hour drive. We stopped in Livermore at the Starbuck’s. And that is when I came up with the idea for this post.

We are going to take a poll and vote on which town or city… and I guess we can include villages and hamlets, you know, for you European, English and Canadian people out there…. has the ugliest name.

What the heck, let’s include the whole world, just to make sure we have a wide range of choices. But if you are using a language other than English, please include the translation of the name if it has one. So I need you to all dig into your memories and come up with some ugly place names.

We will leave this post to simmer… to stew in its own juices… for a few days while we gather a nice list of names. The I will compile those names from the comment section and do another post. Then we can all vote.

And we will all have learned something very interesting… and funny… especially those of us who live in the winning location. HA!

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50 Responses to Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Livermore, I will fear no evil… because there is always Oxnard… (Or): we are now going to have a contest to determine the ugliest name for a town or city anywhere on this planet…

  1. One of the most beautiful places in my area is called” Scugog”. I can never see that name without wondering why they gave it such a disgusting name. It sounds like some scummy thing you clean from around the toilet.

  2. davekheath says:

    I spent over 40 years in Oxnard. It is named after two brothers who built a sugar beat processing mill where the town is now. But now I live outside Boring Oregon.

  3. Trent Lewin says:

    South Porcupine. Do you know what is south of a porcupine?

  4. ginghamchick says:

    How about Embarrass, MN or Fertile, MN or Nimrod, MN

  5. djmatticus says:

    Hey!! I live in Oxnard!!!

  6. List of X says:

    I wouldn’t want to live in Joppa, MD. This probably sounds okay in English, but this sounds like the Russian word for “ass” (as in part of the body, not a donkey), with added bonus that “in jopa” can mean both “in the middle of nowhere” and “in the worst place imaginable” and “in deep sh!t” – and “go to jopa” is one of the Russian ways of telling someone to F off.

  7. kunstkitchen says:

    Why couldn’t you ask for absurd names, or poetic names? Okay somebody already covered Pennsylvania…St Paul Minnesota was originally called Pig’s Eye. Now That’s repulsive.

  8. I HAVE IT! I HAVE IT!

    Art, Indiana 😉

  9. Paul says:

    When I was trucking in Newfoundland, we used to haul fish from a town called “Dildo”. It gave me fits, because everytime I got the the US border, I had to take a map into customs with me because they invariably accused me of putting incorrect names on official US Customs Documents. I got a brand new female officer one night and she had a chip the size of NYC on her shoulder and she was mad and didn’t believe me, even with the map. She made me unload half the trailer for inspection before she let me go. I was ther four hours – UUUGH!

  10. I sense a trend here, already ….

  11. F u c k i n g, Austria.

    (Of course, this city name is not written with all the spaces between.)

  12. I dunno if these count as ‘ugly’ names, but they’re certainly towns I wouldn’t want to admit to living in. They’re all three in Amish country, in Pennsylvania. First, there’s Virgin, a little place, hard to find on the map (or in society, apparently, these days). Somewhat more prominent (at least, on the map) is Blue Balls. The real kicker, of course, is the market town that sprang up between them: Intercourse.

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