Why I would make an awesome pirate… Part 1…

I have had it pointed out to me that my new Disneyland pirate hat might be mistaken for the tricorn hats now being used as a symbol of the Tea Party. Like the beads, fake dreadlocks and bandana aren’t enough of a clue…

I don’t care. I am still wearing it all the time. If anybody ever makes that mistake and accuses me of being one of those… people… I will get all piratey on their asses. I will shiver their timbers, make them walk the plank, keelhaul them, maroon them, and then I will get angry.

But other than the fact that I have no actual interest in boarding and looting ships on the high seas, I think I would make a fabulous pirate.

a 10

And now that I have the hat, I wont need to rely on Photoshop trickery to make me look like a pirate. Well, I still will, but it wont require so much work on my part… Now that I have removed the Disneyland backgrounds from those two pictures, I can just paste myself into any background I want.

But being a pirate is more about attitude than about headwear… although a nice hat does help… And I will be a good captain. I promise I will share all the treasure we manage to plunder…

a 4And I promise not to kill you if we have to bury it. Because I trust you that much. Also, I will never let the dead guy steer the ship…

a 3Because that is just irresponsible captaining.

So come on, mateys. Let’s set sail for some adventure on the high seas.

About pouringmyartout

You will laugh at my antics... That is my solemn promise to you... Or your money back... Stop on by...
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183 Responses to Why I would make an awesome pirate… Part 1…

  1. As a pirate you look like Gary Oldman!

  2. yo ho, yo ho , a pirate’s life fer me ……..

  3. Tricorn hat? I thought it was a diaper 🙂

  4. You should use some of that Photoshop trickery to give yourself a tan. Nobody likes a pasty pirate.

  5. djmatticus says:

    I think I’d trust the dead guy on the wheel… He seems safer than you…

  6. benzeknees says:

    I don’t like your new hat – it looks too slouchy to be a pirate hat. I didn’t even know what it was until you told me.

  7. I get sea sick..yeah that it sea sick…where’s the rum?

  8. List of X says:

    Well, you have the sailing experience, the hat, a potential crew of about 1240 – all you need is a ship. Hmm, would it be too weird to do a Kickstarter campaign to buy a pirate ship?

  9. Trent Lewin says:

    Argh. Sign me up, Captain. But if you make me scrub any decks, I’m going to be first in line for a good mutiny.

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